Since I've been Chinese all of my life, I know how to measure self worth by numbers. 4.0, 1600 (now 2400), valedictorian, 3.14159265, 1.3 billion, 888, M3, six figures, half price, two for one, one child... Since Twitter self-esteem can often be tied into how many followers you have, I thought it would be nice to put together a handy guide to what you've achieved so far and how much your parents will love you. And if they'll humble brag about you at other people's family dinners. TWITTER FOLLOWERS (#) Kiwi (5+): Someone coerced you into signing up for Twitter. Two years ago. You barely have any social media wings and are flightless. Pigeon (25+): You used the friend search function. You don't really want to interact with anyone it found, except that one person who you text all the time anyway. Twitter is laaaaame. Seagull (50-100+): Your have IRL friends on Twitter and you guys love it. Mine, mine, mine! Hummingbird (250+): You're an artist of some ki