Review: Colonoscopies
Another new series where I review things, mostly mundane. In this first installment, I have yet another medical related post because I've been going to the hospital a lot lately.
I’m at the age now where colonoscopies is de rigueur. I’m a little behind actually, as it seems like most of the friends my age have had one already. I can report, as of last week, that my colon is now in spectacular shape! As usual, I had no idea what the process of a medical procedure involved, so I’m here to shed some insight, and to review the process.
The day before the colonoscopy, I had to eat light, basically just white or colorless fluids—except coffee, which flushes out apparently. (My last meal was udon, and some spicy cucumbers.) Oh, I should mention that the purpose of a colonoscopy is to check for colon cancer and it’s something men have to do around forty-five years old.
Anyway, the night before the procedure—which is technically a surgery that involves getting sedated via IV—I had to take a bunch of pills, followed by water, and then more water. Then you poop a lot and pro tip: be around a bidet. I’m already a pretty magical pooper and at first I thought I would be unaffected by the pills, but chemicals seem to win out, in the end. Some people experience cramping and possibly light pain, but I didn’t have either of those symptoms.
After a night of sleep, I woke up and had to repeat the pill and drink water process again, followed by another round of pooping. And then, after a two hour period of not drinking anything, it was off to the hospital to get the colonoscopy! The procedure itself only takes thirty minutes and frankly, I don’t even remember what happened.
All I can say is how I felt afterwards, which was absolutely fabulous! It was fascinating to know that I was totally clean from the inside out and that I was starting fresh as it were. Also, in the past week, I was wrapped up in a project of dumping my extraneous clothes, and as my friend quipped, “You’re cleaning out the closet and colon!” So my recommend is to do both, welcome to spring!
